Mindset: I Have Time for Nothing but Love
Reflecting on the celebration of a great leader, Dr. Martin Luther
King, Jr.’s quote “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a
burden to bear.” reminds me of a March 2017 conversation I had with my friend
Jessica Muroff. She said, “I have time for nothing but love.” She explained,
“if I allow myself to dwell on certain challenges, they will be all-consuming.
Instead, I choose to show others love.” That conversation was life-changing.
While I had previously strived to be positive, there were times that I dwelled
on the negative and felt angry. While human, reflecting back, I allowed a dark
Eeyore cloud to depress my mood when I could have focused on the positive.
Following the conversation with Jess, I decided that I, too, have time for
nothing but love.
Identification of Internal Cheerleader
& Naysayer
One of the ways I identified to show people love was to determine
my personal hero who excels at it, Dr. Laura Osteen, and the opposite who does
not. Dr. Osteen now acts as my internal “love-o-meter” and is pictured at the
onset of each difficult situation. A national leadership guru, Dr. Osteen is
genuine and authentic and makes everyone feel special, heard, empowered and
inspired. Quite literally, her last Facebook message read, “when it rains on
your hardwood floors, sometimes the only thing you can do is dance the night
away on them.” It would be an honor if people had a “Dr. Osteen experience”
when interacting with me. Oppositely, I never want someone to feel like they
met my internal naysayer.
Creation of Optimal Interactions
With these two internal polestars, I intentionally try to create
an optimal experience for the people with whom I interact. For example, since
deciding that I have time for nothing but love, I verbalize compliments instead
of silently observing someone’s awesomeness. I force myself to tell the
stranger on the elevator that his outfit is sharp and the speaker returning
from the podium that she delivered a riveting keynote. I respond to emails sent
by a friend to a group to let her know she is doing an awesome job leading the
organization and I forward emails recognizing a colleague regarding how proud I
am of his achievement. If a recipient replies to my email requesting
information that was included in my message, I don’t inform the sender of the
error, I copy, paste and resend the information.
This past week, I used my nothing-but-love mindset when picking-up
a birthday cake order first thing Monday morning. The bakery had the cake
ready, but had not yet written the personalized message on top.
Problematically, all of the icing was hardened from being in the fridge on
Sunday when the bakery was closed and it would take too long to make new icing
to use for writing. So, the bakery wrote “Happy Birthday, Connie!” on a ribbon
and laid it across the cake. It wasn’t what I wanted. As I worried that my
friend might question the specialness of her ribbon- laid cake, I considered
explaining to the staff why bakeries should have writing icing on hand during
all bakery hours. Then, I reminded myself that ending the conversation in such
a negative way is not the experience with which I wanted to leave the staff.
This is especially true given that I had no idea how the mistake occurred (what
if the bakery was short-staffed that morning?) or if I was speaking with the
responsible party (versus a co-worker not responsible for icing?). So, instead
of providing negative feedback as I might have pre-March 2017, I smiled and
told the bakery my friend would love her cake (she did!). The staff looked
relieved and I felt joy seeing their smiles that would not have come from an
explanation of Bakery 101.
A similar experience occurred when recently waiting for a morning
meeting. After 10 minutes, I sent a friendly text asking if the colleague was
on her way and informing her of how to reach my assistant and me if further
location or parking directions were needed. When no response was received, I
texted that I would wait an additional 10 minutes and was excited if she could
still make it and understood if that was no longer possible. After another 10
minutes, I texted that I was leaving and hoped everything was okay. That
afternoon, the colleague responded with her apologies – a family member was
unexpectedly hospitalized and due to the stress of the situation, she forgot to
cancel our meeting. I was extra glad that my messages extended love, not
judgment. My day was fine not going as planned – while I waited, the “extra”
time was used to enjoy a rare sit-down breakfast and send necessary email
responses. More importantly given what happened, I would have looked like, and
felt like!, a jerk had my messages been negative.
The Challenge: Show Grace
Inspirational posts about not knowing how others are feeling and
extending grace are often shared. But, how often is that mindset actually
practiced? Analyze it. Do you consistently show others love? If not, make
*that* your challenge this week. It’s promised that the joy and inner
peace you’ll experience from making someone’s day will far outweigh any
short-term satisfaction you may (or may not!) experience if you abandon love.
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For more helpful information like this:
Connect with Melanie
FB & LI: Melanie S. Griffin
Twitter: @melaniesgriffin
IG: @spreadingthefloridasunshine
melanie@spreadyoursunshine.com
Connect with Spread Your Sunshine
FB: Spread Your Sunshine
Twitter: @sunshine_women
IG: @spreadyoursunshine
www.spreadyoursunshine.com
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