50 Lessons For Women Lawyers- #20 Dream Beyond Perfection!

“Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there’s no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal.”
My husband and I recently adopted a beautiful son. Wanting to be the best parents possible, the positives and negatives of our childhoods were analyzed. For me, the reflection revealed a main characteristic developed that deeply intertwined with my legal career—perfectionism. Although this attribute resulted in some pretty sweet successes – a silver lining – it also meant I was petrified of failure—a significant professional impediment. To illuminate, during a conference addressing perfectionists’ low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and minimalized achievements, a story was told about a female lawyer who let perfection overrun her practice. For years, she reviewed all of her office’s work before it was finalized, the only way she could ensure perfection. Problematically, capacity limited her review capabilities, preventing her practice’s growth.

The Business Case for Mentoring

While the term “mentoring” is often used, establishment of meaningful mentoring relationships and programs is a true art form that when effectively implemented, yields significant gains for both the mentoring pair and the firm/company investing in such resources. The following highlights mentoring subtleties that make a critical difference in the success of the relationship, including: how mentorship differs from coaching and sponsorship, formal and organic relationships, reverse mentoring, optimal mentor pairings, effective communication, the benefits of mentoring, and useful mentoring resources.

I.Types of Mentoring Relationships
“Mentoring” is broader than often described and takes many forms beyond traditional, formal, one-on-one pairings.1 The following is an overview of those relationships, including the differences between coaching, mentoring and sponsorship; formal versus informal pairings; and reverse, or millennial or reciprocal, mentorships.
A. How Mentoring Differs from Othe…

Mindset: I Have Time for Nothing but Love

Reflecting on the celebration of a great leader, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s quote “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” reminds me of a March 2017 conversation I had with my friend Jessica Muroff. She said, “I have time for nothing but love.” She explained, “if I allow myself to dwell on certain challenges, they will be all-consuming. Instead, I choose to show others love.” That conversation was life-changing. While I had previously strived to be positive, there were times that I dwelled on the negative and felt angry. While human, reflecting back, I allowed a dark Eeyore cloud to depress my mood when I could have focused on the positive. Following the conversation with Jess, I decided that I, too, have time for nothing but love.
Identification of Internal Cheerleader & Naysayer
One of the ways I identified to show people love was to determine my personal hero who excels at it, Dr. Laura Osteen, and the opposite who does not. Dr. Osteen now acts…

Grandma 101: Human Connection Transcends Social Media,The Art of Hand-Written Notes in the Digital Age

From a young age, my Grandma, like many others, encouraged a hand-written note for most life events - to show gratitude, sympathy, thoughtfulness, celebration, and a host of additional emotions and occasions. At her encouragement, this art- form was used to connect with family and friends, both locally and across the miles.
As an attorney, this practice continued. Cards and tokens of remembrance were sent in celebration of bar passages, trial victories and partnerships, to lift up mentees struggling with the profession, and to remind others that they brighten this world by the positive change they effect every day. They were sent out of genuine concern and love for others. An unintended consequence is that they made my practice of law successful. The following is why.
Social media and electronic communications are powerful tools for broadening communications and superficially learning about others, an alternative news source. They are not effective ways to deepen worthwhile relationship…

2019 Focus: Mental Health & Happiness, Essential for the Solo & Small Firm Lawyer

At the beginning of the year, I went to the gym. Not exactly a novel January 1st idea. The workout was noteworthy, however, because I did not go to start losing the ever-elusive “10 pounds,” a past go-to New Year’s resolution. I went for mental health and happiness, one of my 2019 focuses.
Last fall was exceedingly busy. The packed schedule from September through November is always a challenge. In 2018, though, the addition of awesome professional opportunities and a baby tipped the scales. To save time, I quit the workouts enjoyed since middle school to exclusively focus on the workload of my then three-person law office. What was then unknown to me, however, is that I did not create additional time, I worsened my situation. Although physical benefits are most-often associated with exercise, physical activity has significant mental health benefits, including stress reduction. Since I unwittingly eliminated a major stress-relief outlet, stress had nowhere to go, bottling-up inside me an…